im tired and this was funny

Thanks to mah cuz holly fo dis here vid.

I bet she does eat the soooo yucky green beans again.

i want his uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

must uhn tiss this week.

calling all sickly fashionistas

Well i guess i am entering the high stakes world of trend setting. As of today i am going to be the new General Manager of the american apparel store here in new orleans. i'm gonna miss the late night delusional tromps at my current job, but i think it will be a nice change. my only concern is that, fancy pants aside, my fashion sense is quite dull. i think it's kinda like smokers that have poor taste buds. i believe masturbation has killed my fashion senses. i was always warned but i thought it was just an old wive's tale. sadly i was mistaken.

i think the only solution is to find someone to masturbate for me. so with that being said i will enlist all of you folks to pledge your "special time" to me. you can sign up in the comments section and list how many hours you plan to donate to me each month. if you all can fulfill my personal obligations of approximately 100 man hours/month then im sure my forward sense of trend setting fashion will return to me.

in related news i pulled my groin. luckily my fancy pants have doubled as an effective support wrap for my junk.

Repose

Well it's been a pretty relaxing week. I had off Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday but im headed back in for a weekend of work. I've spent the week chasing down craig's list deals of the day and keeping myself occupied with new diversions. Yesterday was slightly more event filled.

After picking up a wrought iron head and foot board for $15 and a cool little wooden bookshelf for $10 i biked down to magazine and had lunch and my first PBR in a long damn time, it struck me that my time in NOLA so far has felt a lot more like a vacation than anything. the weather is orgasmic right now with the highs in the 80's and a cool strong coastal breeze every day and night. i know it's gonna get stifling hot later on but for now it is amazing weather. also, thanks to some local geniuses who decided to populate all ponds, pools and other standing bodies of water with minnows, the mosquito population is MUCH less than i anticipated.

Yesterday i also went to my first game of goaltimate in preparation for the ultimate league i joined. For being my first game ever of goaltimate and my first time on the field in about 5 years i didn't do too bad. I scored in the first game and made a few interceptions. I was rubber legged after about 45 min's and when i found out they usually played for about 2.5 hours i gracefully bowed out to ensure i retained some mobility for today.


Also last night i had dinner cooked for me by new friend Huong. She is an account exec for the local alternative weekly The Gambit. It was a nice night. She made tilapia and mojitos and we watched 300 which i hadn't seen until then. Verrah nice. I like the man fighting verrah much. to clear the air up we are just friends. it's nice not having to deal with sexual tension and just have everyone on the same page. she is also using her resources at the gambit and her access to clients like the W hotel and Harrah's etc... to help me find more suitable employ.

Anyways i just finished watchingBreaking and Entering which was a pretty good flick. I hear my camera is coming soon so fancy pants pic will soon follow. Stay vigilant all!!

P.S. for those it might concern enjoy your mejican holiday. if you happen to fly anywhere near new orleans during your voyage don't do number 2.

that is all

Hong Kong Phooey

Well i have officially popped my French quarter cherry. I went downtown stag the other night. This bar called one eyed jacks was having Eighties Night and the urge was too great. I decided to use my new found night owl status to camp this place out until i had a good time. However, by the time i got there i decided it would be a "good" night if i got home with all my cash and no new holes in me. Needless to say, it was on a stretch of dark streets and i parked about 6 months away since i had little idea what was kosher parking spaces (i learned that lesson fast and am now a semi professional parker).

Anyways the bar was cool. It looked like a gutted theatre with 1 bar in the foyer and 1 larger bar in the "theatre seating" section running right down the middle. It had a small stage with a couple hotties doing their "im a hottie" dance on their respective "hottie stools" while the last unicorn played silently on the screen behind them. Eighties blasted and the typical throngs of folks stood on the "dance" floor. Emboldened by the lack of repercussion and the $1 high lifes i jumped on the floor and started goin apey. Soon enough the floor was jumping and the good times, as they say, began to roll.

It was a shot in the arm. I got to dance with a few lovely ladies and one stopped me to introduce herself. She earned the titular role in this blog post. Her name was Hong. Hong told me she was having a b'day coming up bbq, crawfish boil, dancing, swimming pool etc... and she basically told me she wanted me to attend and be the hotty on the stool. I met her friend Yasmine who was also a tasty strumpet. We hung out the rest of the night critiquing the DJ's selections and i talked them into driving me to my car in exchange for me hosting their "walk to the car" party.

My roommates made several jokes about messing around with a girl named Hong. It has quickly become the newest Tre chic verb at 4611. I suggest you start using it before your friends do.

Last night i went to Mimi's and had the most amazing thing ive ever eaten drunk. It was called mushroom meshega or something. I have no words to describe, but washing it all down with Duvel while a zydeco band played in the background (think flicker size) was nearly enough to make me urinate on ever passer by in a shear psychotic fit of ecstasy.

dopplegangers cont'd

i have eaten at the bluebird cafe a couple times since i moved here. it's a breakfast joint with really cool original art. soon as i get some cash im gonna buy a print of "over easy". it's this grisly looking egg snarling at you. the food is awesome and the wait staff is very gay. :) i think i caught one of the staff off guard. i was sitting at the bar so he wasn't waiting on me, but he kept tryin to spark up conversations with little interjections like "oh im so sorry baby" and gently touching my shoulder after he burped and then asking me what i was reading. so when he commented on my bag and said "that's a pretty big satchel you got there". I replied "why thank you" and conjured as charming a smile as i could w/o outright laughing. His eyes got real big and he just said "oh my" in his indoor voice and walked away. I'm sure he has something prepared for my next visit.

P.S. The trollies are up and running again!! I meant to take a picture with the disposable cam i bought for yazz fest, but i used em up too fast. The point is my presence in this city has single-handedly turned things around. I'll post news clippings singing my praises soon.

jazzfest

so sleepy. jazz fest so fun. pictures...coming. so hot. milk was a bad choice.

chutes are slippery when wet

do songs just fit like astrology forecasts? vaguely nebulous so that one size fits all. or does the universe use them to speak to us? ive listened to chutes too narrow a thousand times but it's never hit this close to home.

tonight is also my first night of work. 12 am until 8 am. i enjoy the distinct privilege of watching the sun rise over beautiful metairie every day. i just want to go to sleep. maybe ill pack a satchel full of alcohol, tobacco products and other various chemicals to unleash on the clinics "quitters". mainly, i just want an excuse to use a satchel.

expensivo

ive finally arrived. im obese with exhaustion. whole foods price tags are obese with numbers. my S is obese with the fog of war. i think ive decided to be the next american idol. ive also decided to try the exclamation "Great Horny Toads!!" out for a week just to test the waters. im goin to bed b/c it is obese with comfiness.